Freelancette

Marshall, an idealistic law school grad (like some of my friends -- you know who you are) tries to decide whether to take a job with the NRDC, or a job with an evil law firm that represents the NRDC's worst and most despicable enemies. The head partner of the evil firm, Jeff (Harold and Kumar's John Cho, oozing with shmoozery), turns out to be a total charmer that zeroes in on Marshall's financial and familial insecurities. While wooing Marshall with a dinner of Kobe lobster ("lobster fed with Kobe beef") and fine wine, Jeff implies that Marshall must have "family money" if he intends to make a living on the meager, non-profit salary offered by the NRDC. (Sounds like non-profit companies are structured just like magazines –- go figure!) Anyway, when Marshall demurs, Jeff jokes that Marshall must not want to have kids. "I want four," admits the big lug (Awww…). After pointing out that most parents worry about New York public schools, Jeff gamely says, "But the kids who are able to walk out of them, walk out proud."

When do you ever see male TV characters talking about how many kids they'd like to have, and making decisions accordingly? We're used to young female characters factoring family and kids into their career plans, but that never seems to be on the mind of television's young male professionals. Ignoring the connection between work and family, guys in the city, especially, seem to believe that they'll be able to afford as many kids as they want...eventually. Yet here's this cute, smart, ambitious dude, newly married and barely out of his "Me Years," evaluating his job options based on how they synch up with his personal goals. What a guy! What a show!

While Marshall is cursing his conscience (and his much-desired future dependents), Robin is back at the apartment, asking Lily what every viewer of this show has been dying to know. "You're a kindergarten teacher, and you make a kindergarten teacher's salary," Robin says while looking over Lily's latest acquisitions. "So how do you afford such expensive clothes?" After watching Lily parade around in a different, trendy outfit each week, I've been wondering the exact same thing!

Turns out Lily shops like the rest of New York's journalists/do-gooders/teachers/non-investment-bankers: on credit. A big proponent of retail therapy, Lily has used a collection of credit cards to run up an undisclosed (but presumably horrifying amount of debt. That's why she's secretly rooting for her husband to take the job with the evil firm -- not because she doesn't support his values, or his family plans, but because she knows that his ramen-noodle NRDC salary won't support her shopping habit -- or her very typical NYC lifestyle.

I can relate to this. Every time I tally up our monthly expenses, or pay my student loan bills, or peruse the real estate listings, or meet a new friend's baby, I can't help wishing that my boyfriend and I were just a little less "principled."

I should mention here that this was just one of the episode's two main plots. The other story was something about Ted discovering that a famous porn star shared his same name. But as always, the Ted storyline (like Ted himself) was silly and forgettable.

Back to the Eriksens ... the episode ends with Marshall accepting the sell-out job after being promised that he'll only work on one client, his favorite amusement park (he doesn't realize the park is just as sleazy and underhanded as the rest of the firm's clients), and with Lily fantasizing of a future of fabulous footwear. Kudos to Marshall for not making the "right" decision! He'll be much better off suffering under The Man for a few years, after which he can find a new, more satisfying job, and take the money and run... right into his little kids' arms and into a new career. If he takes the NRDC job, the only things he'll be able to afford to nurture are his principles. You can't support a pair of shoes (never mind a pair of kids) on that kind of salary in this city. Trust me.