We need more movies like Away We Go -- but with better endings
Critics’ reviews of Away We Go made the film sound as enjoyable as eating a pint of curdled yogurt. Variety called it an “an oddly sour, unappealing road-trip scenario” that will appeal only to true fans (“fans” here obviously meaning “silly hipsters with questionable literary taste”) of the screenwriters, Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida. NPR’s Kenneth Turan dismissed it as “a self-satisfied film about insecure people… not as special as it tries to be.” A.O. Scott at the NY Times was personally offended by the film: “Verona and Burt, played with passive-aggressive winsomeness by Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski, are manifestly superior to everyone else in the movie and, by implication, the world…it’s clear that they are acutely, at times painfully, aware of their special status as uniquely sensitive, caring, smart and cool beings on a planet full of cretins and failures… Away We Go is about the flight from adulthood, from engagement, from responsibility, even as it cleverly disguises itself as a search for all those things…Does it sound as if I hate this movie? Don’t be silly. But don’t be fooled. This movie does not like you.”
Ouch! It’s clear to me that A.O. actually did hate this movie. And I trust his opinion, so I figured that I’d hate it, too. I dislike “smug” and “self-satisfied” and quirkily annoying films (see also: Garden State) as much as the next moviegoer. But despite the negative comments I’d read about the execution of the film, the premise still sounded pretty irresistible: an under-employed, under-compensated, cheerfully clueless couple in their thirties goes on a road trip to try to find the best city (and by extension, the best support system of friends and family) in which to raise their daughter.
As someone who obsesses over parenthood and babies and figuring out this whole adulthood thing, I was very curious to see how Eggers and Vida, with director Sam Mendes, would handle this subject. So in the name of research, I sweet-talked my fiancé into watching the film with me, and away we went.
In a much-quoted early scene, Verona asks her boyfriend (she’s stubbornly anti-marriage), “Are we fuck-ups? We’re 34 and we don’t even have this basic stuff figured out,” stuff like living. Bert tries to talk Verona out of her sad funk, but she still despondently concludes, “I think we are fuck-ups.”
You’re a fuck-up, I’m a fuck-up…I think half of crowd in the independent cinema in Brooklyn where we saw the film would consider themselves fuck-ups, too.
My fiancé and I have solid full-time jobs, but we still can’t afford any of the accoutrements of adulthood, like a home, a vehicle, or, as I’ve complained about ad nauseum, a baby. Okay, so the windows in our rented apartment aren’t covered in cardboard, like those in Bert and Verona’s drafty little house -- but at least they have a house! I even spotted an extra room in there (a studio in which Verona does her medical illustrations). They also have a car, and they’re pregnant and pleased (with some reservations). By many standards, my fiancé and I are even bigger fuck-ups than Bert and Verona. That is not reassuring. That is probably why we are so freaked out about supporting a child. We can barely support ourselves.
I think the pre-parenthood stage of adulthood is ripe for further exploration in films and books. There isn't a lot out there that speaks to those of us who are past our Sex and the City, Bachelor/Bachelorette stage, but have not quite entered the period so memorably illuminated by movies like The Ice Storm, Little Children, American Beauty or Revolutionary Road.
Reading the disgusted reviews of Away We Go, I can’t help wondering why American audiences have such sympathy for lotharios trying to figure out how to have a healthy relationship, parents trying to figure out marriage and family life, teenagers trying to come of age, vampires, vampire slayers, werewolves, wizards…basically any lost, searching creatures except for young couples (especially those who shop at vintage stores) on the brink of parenthood. Maybe this is because a lot of (lucky) people just don’t have as much trouble figuring out adulthood, or they just leap first and think later, so that in-between period is viewed as more of an optional detour or a state of mind, versus a universal life stage? Or maybe it’s just too darn easy for filmmakers to slip and hit the wrong note, creating protagonists that come off as silly, lazy, immature, entitled, self-involved or whiny.
Bert and Verona aren’t whiny or entitled –- and perhaps that’s their problem. From the reviews I read, it sounded like the characters’ most off-putting flaw was not having enough foibles, not being introspective or self-aware enough, and therefore coming off as smug. But I found them to be sweet, likeable, and highly sympathetic, and their search for familial role models and roots rang true.
As freelancers, Bert and Verona aren’t tethered to any one place by jobs, and Verona's parents have passed away. The couple moved to their coldly beautiful state (it’s not named, but it looked like Colorado) in order to be closer to Bert’s parents. Considering the cost of daycare, and the difficulty in getting any work done with a baby squirming off your lap, that’s a pretty smart idea for a couple who eventually intend to start a family. My mom always says that in order to have a baby today, couples need help -- either in the form of money or family members. Verona and Bert clearly don’t have much of the former, so they were wise to secure the latter. When Bert’s flighty, immature parents suddenly decided to relocate to Belgium, the couple was forced to figure out a back-up plan.
Those of us who moved away from our hometowns after college and settled where our jobs are, instead of where our families are, will face similar dilemmas if and when we decide it’s time to have kids. And unless we have enough money to compensate for the lack of help and support (or even if we do), many of us will probably move closer to one set of grandparents. I was grateful to the movie for addressing the very real fact that it’s incredibly daunting to raise children today without financial or familial support... and that some couples, like Bert and Verona (and us!) are lacking both.
But here is where I take issue with the film -- in a big way. Despite its fresh, contemporary and relatable take on the stresses and anxieties of adulthood, Away We Go peddles a false parental fantasy, the same old-fashioned encouragement that has been fed to couples since the Old Testament. It’s what I like to call the Baby Field of Dreams Speech: If you have one, everything will work out. So even if you and your partner have lousy, poorly-paying jobs, or if you don’t even have jobs, or if you don’t have any grandparents around to pick up the slack, or you can't afford daycare or a nanny, or if the windows in your ramshackle house are covered with cardboard -- it’s okay, because once the baby’s here, everything will be fine. That’s how things end for this celluloid couple, and that’s how it will work out for you. Just have the baby. Worry about everything else later –- or hey, don’t worry at all.
No! Let's worry, people! Maybe we should try to address these problems before the baby is born-- at least we'll have more time and energy to figure out a solution.
My gripes are bigger than simply finding the characters to be lame. I think this film presents challenges that a lot of thirtysomethings are dealing with right now, but then betrays us by concluding with a dangerous lie. (I don't want to give away any spoilers, but can I just say: water view?! Come on!) Babies don't always end in perfect, happy endings. I wish the filmmakers had followed through and come up with a more satisfying solution.